::diary:: / Monday, April 30, 2007
suddenly i looked up to my schedule board. dates of eois, ora day, pft1, notes. and then, there's this one slip of paper. stuck to the board.
i heart elledee! :) <33>
and the in faint blue, around the words were:
melly! livvy! sherrie! nat! claire! xinty! suvi! lintong! hannah!come to think of it, ld has been a great experience, although it's only my first year. i am overwhelmed by the bonded-ness of the whole ld family. sec1s to sec4s. and how we share so many stories about them. how we write to some of them, telling them personal stuff. how we've grown so attached to elledee and to the ldseniors, namely the sec4s.
i have discovered my passion for drama and theatre.
oh not just that of course. i've felt love and family. and lots of laughter! :D and ssshh, re-discovered my love for singing. oh yeah, i've stopped singing in p6...and then the sec4s started singing and then i started searching lyrics and tunes for musicals:
grease, phantom, chitty chitty bang bang, sound of music, etc.haha! and i started singing in the bathroom again! :))
i still remember very very clearly my very first experience with ld. not a large one. but enough to remember.
the very first ld member i met: livvy
i met her in p5 - Australia and in P6 -Colorado. oh yeah, fps. she won scenario writing international in colorado. and i saw her family. i think she has a sister. and probably a brother too. she had the same hairstyle. long bangs, long hair. her mother was there too. (:
i was there too of course. but i doubt she noticed me. cos i was in ny. but we were team singapore! haha
i can't really remember seeing melly before. but it's rather deja vu seeing her. i don't know. it seemed like i saw her before. probably in nanyang i think.
but i must say. she have a very distinct "nanyang" look. ha! :D
during orientation day, our class went pass the drama booth. oh yeah sure! it was drama. it was fun and interesting. i remember seeing livvy and melly. i can't really remember who, but one was with a magicians top hat. and it was very drama. they had flyers of aftermath and yesterday my classmate died.
it was fun! and it left the most impression. but when i told my father which ccas i was going to try out for...it never did include drama.
being in ld now, i dont believe that i didn't want drama at first but i realised i didn't get into anything [fortunately!] and sarah, deenie had signed up for elds tryouts and i just signed up with them. and we tried out together with ruby.
deenie and i were getting along fine that time....yeah. :) so that's with me and elledee. and i'm very happy to be with elledee! even though time with the sec4s won't be very long, we still have much memories! (: the sec4s are uber-cool. our batch can't be like them...
nushes.
--> my new word: nushes! it's really cool right? pseunodym for umm: nudges and crushes! hahahahaha
/ihopped at
9:55 PM
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I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT I AM SO DUMB!
AND LAME!!
goodness. what is wrong with me today. i should never ever be so PARANOID again.
i read sarah's blog just now, it was very nice. and insightfull...cos nobody has ideas like hers! haha!
RAWR! so angry at myself! and humoured as well!
ahhh, i feel like a burden to sarah...i'm really sorry. :( but sarah did cheer me up for some. oh! and she's very very lucky with seniors. super! and all the seniors absolutely love her. hahaha, well who wouldn't?
dang, this blogskin is getting BORING. i shall change it soon.
seeya!
/ihopped at
6:21 AM
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::a certain person:: / Saturday, April 28, 2007
a certain person makes me laugh and cry.
this person makes me feel on top of the world, and the next moment she disappoints me.
oh yeah, this person is sarah.
haha, this person is eccentric. oh! but in a good way of course.
sarahsarah
she's not sarah-ish
my idea of a sarah is someone smart, intelligent sophisticated.
this sarah tan is in fact somewhat opposite.
oh sure! she's smart and intelligent, albeit weird
she's creative, and funny,
and does things that you never expected yourself to do.
like run in the rain.
be dramatic.
to just be yourself
hiccup as loudly as you want
be generous
that there's good in everyone
to laugh like there's no tomorrow
to find humour in everything
to write poems so openly
to be sad when you want to
to keep promises when you break them.
...
yeah sarah has taught me lots of stuff.
never ever typecast a sarah. cos a sarah can turn out different from what you expect her to be. like this sarah.
most importantly, this sarah has taught me so valuable that i could hug her and thank her for an eternity.
to step out of your shell and
be brave.
/ihopped at
11:55 PM
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i really must learn to forgive and forget. that better be my motto for the whole year, that hasn't been going very well for me right now.
forgive and forget. you know it's very difficult for a scorpio like me, who harbours REALLY bad, really deep grudges.
oh, maybe you don't know. that's why i have to forgive and forget. or else, i would have gone like mad, screwed, heated up. and might just tear down the whole building.
and the world would come to a halt, because of a raging scorpio.
nah! but seriously, if i do bear grudges, i wouldn't know myself anymore. i mean, people would be different and so on. i guess i do quite a good job nowadays seeing what's going on in my life right now.
the going ons: people irritating and aggravating me. and thus so, i do the same back to them. i freak myself alot nowadays. and i freak myself out because of one big reason:
tears.
i used to be someone who wouldn't cry. bottle everything inside. and once it's
breakpoint i would start crying like real bad. 1-2 hours. secretly.
but now, i even cry in
school. oh yeah sure, nobody ever KNOWS. nobody really notices. i remembered crying during pe and during morning assembly. for whatever reasons i don't know.
now, i cry to myself like every minute. as if every minute i live is unbearable. which, it isn't.
at least that's what i tell myself. hahaa. i guess you are probably thinking i'm gaining sympathy from you all. but that's not my intention. i never did want sympathy. probably a little more attention. a little bit of understanding. because right till now, i realised, nobody has ever understood me before.
i freaked myself out the other day. because i started calling myself "freak" and "loser" and started feeling suicidal. and i seriously cried, because i never did want to end my life.
however painful and cold it could be sometimes.
because, i have always believed that, however cruel and unfeeling the world might be, people were put in here to give warmth and bring laughter to certain people.
and i am someone that will, someday, bright up the life of someone i care for.
(:
/ihopped at
11:39 PM
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::explain:: / Sunday, April 22, 2007
i shall explain. breif and short! (:
borders was having a MEGA-SALE! okay not really. but anywayss! borders had this promotion going on. yepp
buy 4 books and get 25% off each book! SOO COOL right?! i had to chase my dad to bring me to borders at 9pm! haa! ((: was so cool.
so i bought 3, my dad bought 1. i bought NINETEEN MINUTES!! and a few other books for with great pleasure.
little women / blue waters. couldn't find red sky in the morning, and THE MEDIATOR! oh gosh.
and my dad had this boring book..china CEO. ackks.
we got some food from isetan [sun moulin!] and got a iceblended from coffee bean! (: it wasn't belgian choc tho, it was mocha. <33
hahha. funnily, both places were where sarah and i went before. (:
ah! i seem to be spending lots of time with sarah, not that i don't like it. i like sarah, lots! but somehow i feel badd! i seem to be leaving dear old dee2 alone. so sad. MUST BRING HER OUT NEXT TIME!! and i'll shop with her for cuddlies! (:
love dee2 to bits! <33
she and sarah are my two favourite person in the world! as in friends. dee2 ranks first! haaa! (:
and funnily, both have wacky personalities!
/ihopped at
2:06 AM
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HAHAA!
I'VE GOT
NINETEEN MINUTES!nineteenminutes!! I'LL POST AN EXTRACT NEXT TIME!! <33
/ihopped at
2:03 AM
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::springtime:: / Friday, April 20, 2007
What can it be,
this curious anxiety?
It is as if i wanted
To fly away from here
But how absurd!
I have never flown in my life,
And i do not know
what flying means, though i have heard,
of course, something about it.
Why do i peck the wires of this little cage?
It is the only nest i have ever knoqn.
But i want to build my own,
High in the secret branches of the air.
I cannot quite remember how
it is done, but i know
That what i want to do
cannot be done here.
I have all i need -
seed and water, air and light.
Why, then, do i weep in anguish
and beat my head and my wings
against those sharp wires, while the childer
Smile at each other, saying: "Hark how he sings?"
james kirkup
/ihopped at
11:42 PM
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haaaaaha. i'll post a whole lot.
i think my ld buddy is SAMUEL! yay! i'm so glad for that. cos i especially love melly to bits. i'm planning to give her letter soon. i'll send it through tiff.
oh yesh. sarah and i have given FUNNY nicknames to the people in ld. and samuel's "handsome". suv is "hot stuff"/ ashima's "JUICY LADY". can you believe it? and nat, oh nat!, is "red hot chilli peppers". done by sarah truly. how interesting don't you think?
and i've been hyperventilating alot! well duh, cos ld seniors make me hyperventilate. and become sweeter than i really am. and when i say ld seniors i mean the SEC4s. gosh! they were on stage for earth day. and sarah and i were pratically doing muffled, restrained screams all along! and they sang! oh gosh! they sang, and it was GOOD [cos they can sing better than the choir people] and funny! (:
i love elledee to bits. <33
melly: i feel so bad and depressed. because melly's a gr8 senior, and i somehow feel distantly close and attracted to her. so when i see her like alone and quiet and deep in thought, i always wish i'm there to comfort her. but i can't, you see. and my heart seriously stings when i see her like that. cos i really love her alot! as a senior, of course. NOT A CRUSH, cos i don't fantasize about her. i really wish i could know melly more.
and then there's livvy. i'm also attracted to livvy because of her UNIQUE personality! (: livvy, i guess, is always a very nice person to be with. i want to know more about her...but melly says, you really have to be close to her. and she says, we probably wouldn't know livvy more. haa. ahh wells!
elledee is like a whole family. and i'm having a whale of a time there!
whoosh!
p.s: did i say that the mediator series is fantastic? oh yes. i'm missing the 5th and 6th book. p.p.s: the EIGHTH princess diaries book is out!!!ppps: NINETEEN MINUTES is love! i need it! pppps: and "for one more day" too!! (:
/ihopped at
11:31 PM
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i shan't change my blog skin soon. too in love with the current one..!
we syfed today! pronounced: sifed.
they were brill!
especially melly aka samuel.
but the rest were fantabulous too!
oh gosh. i betting you we'll get gold with honours!
oh yes we must get gold with honours!
and then i could hug all the sec4s and tell them how proud we are!
(:
uh-oh! i can't go for post-mortem. parteh is no-no for me. i have to go for some stupid science competion! yikes.rawr! MY HAPPY SEC4 BONDING?!
/ihopped at
11:28 PM
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:RASTIK:: / Sunday, April 08, 2007
i shan't be an emo kid. UH HUH!
i'm an emo kid, i'm as emo as can be. HEARD THAT SONG BEFORE? I THINK IT'S THOROUGHLY AMUSING! rahaha.
hyper mood today i guess. but i haven't finished my homework and i want to revise! arrhs. exams are coming up and also i can't get my PTs. i shall use my recesses and lunches to finish them up. or else i'll be soo dead.
did i tell you that HADLEY won sports fest?! it was a blast! rahaa.
ld has been having wonderfully fantastic stuff. i still love the people. not so much the sec2s and threes though. WHY? i shall tell you now.
sec2s arre ok. they are (damn) suppose to be closest to us. at least yeah. well i think ashima, steffi! and anni! are nice people. at least they BELIEVE me when i tell them stuff. and what?! the rest of the sec2s spread stuff about me which i already said it was not true lahh. yepp. that whole karen business. and WHAT?! my batchmates keep teasing me on that and even the sec4s know.
so dissapointing. and embarrasing. i didn't know they were such people. [daphne and kyung tae especially. i don't like daphne alot.]
the sec3s are plain dao. they are nice lahh, sure. only some. KEISHA! CHERIEL! VIOLET! SHIMIN!
ohh wells. the sec4s are dead cool, dead nice. i mean even though they did ask about the karen thing [WHICH I TELL YOU ONCE AGAIN, IS NOT TRUE.] they don't shun away from the sec1s which they probably think are a whole lot of senior-crushing batch.
especially sarah and i.
oh wells, i just hoppe none of the sec4s hate me or something. cos i seriously love them LOTS! and sarah too of course. [aww sarah!] i guess you could say i crush on all of them. ha. it's more like an, umm, admiring-crush thing.
i like suvi, nat!, and melly more though.
and please. i put nat with an exclamation mark because of some really amusing, really interesting things that happened concerning her. but of course, she [nat, i mean] doesn't know what's going on.
nyehaha.
nat's a fun girl. when i first got into ld i always thought nat was an untouchable. like "stay-away-from-me-or-i'll-bite!" kindduf girl. but no, she gives the best hugs (according to sarah) and always approachable.
suvi is plain sweet. she has a touch of melly in her. but she can talk to you about all sorts of stuff. and she's just dead nice to talk too. very open and very funny.
melly's a nice girl. she came in during last psl session [WHICH WAS ALSO A BLAST!] so fun! she's dead corny, but her jokes makes me laugh. as in seriously. but i think she's emo too. well so yeah, she's someone i can relate too.
but because i found out of her emo-ness, i started thinking she was an untouchable. so well, that's bad.
melly and sarah [tan] has alot in common. and since sarah's a great friend. i think melly would be one too, except that she's a senior...yepp. but wells.. you see. on the outside, they seem funny and genorous and all. but deep down, there's alot happening. especially in melly.
i shall continue someday..
my elledee shirt ROCKS!! yay!
/ihopped at
1:04 AM
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